


Drowning

by fallenfairytale



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Sad, percabeth, percy jackson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 02:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11958135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallenfairytale/pseuds/fallenfairytale
Summary: "In the last week or so, something had changed for Percy. Whenever he arrived at Camp Half-Blood, he always felt at home, glad to be with his fellow demigods. But as the weeks had gone by, something had changed. Percy felt somewhat foggy as if everyone around him was moving too fast, or maybe it was him who was moving too slow?"Sorry I suck at summaries, but please take look :)





	1. Hang On

**Author's note: Hello there! So welcome to my first fan fiction after almost three years. It's also the first one I write in English! So I just binged the Percy Jackson books in the last weeks and then I got this idea. It was supposed to be a one shot, but now it's full story. At the moment I actually have no idea where this story will go, but I just hope you enjoy reading it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Percy Jackson. Unfortunately.**

* * *

 

_Chapter 1 - Hang On_

_Hang on when the water is rising_  
Hang on when the waves are crashing  
Hang on, just don't ever let go

* * *

"Percy, is everything all right?" Annabeth asked, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. Percy had arrived at the camp a few weeks ago, and Chiron and Annabeth still wanted to meet him every evening to talk.

Whenever Percy arrived at Camp Half-Blood, he always felt at home, glad to be with his fellow demigods. But as the weeks had gone by, something had changed. Percy felt somewhat foggy, as if everyone around him was moving too fast, or maybe it was him who was moving too slow? The feeling of home was gone and he felt very out of sorts.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Percy said, taking a few steps away from Annabeth.

He immediately knew that he had hurt her with this gesture, but he couldn't stand to be near her. Lately, he had been doing that more and more often. He needed air to breathe.

"I think I'm going to rest now, it was a long day."

Percy felt the worried glances of Chiron and Annabeth boring into his skull as he turned his back to them and went to his cabin.

His cabin had hardly changed in the months he was gone, as was to be expected. Besides Tyson, he was the only inhabitant of the cabin of Poseidon. He was away for months, but his cabin still looked as if he had never really left. It was his home, exactly the way he wanted it, and yet, Percy still felt like an intruder and he didn't know why.

Only now did Percy noticed how tired he actually was. His eyes slowly closed again and again, and his body felt like as if he was carrying the weight of heaven on his shoulders (the feeling was very well known to him). He had not slept for days; he was too afraid of what he would see in his dreams. Funny enough, they all thought he was a hero; they celebrated him when he finally returned to the camp, but Percy no longer felt like he deserved the title. What kind of hero was afraid to go to sleep?

Slowly, he pulled off his dirty clothes and carelessly threw them on the floor. He made no big effort to keep his cabin clean or care for his own hygiene. Percy crawled in his bed as he was and pulled the blanket up to his chin.

His gaze landed on the empty bed beside him; he missed his brother but he also missed Annabeth, his mother, and even his father Poseidon. He simply missed everyone. He felt alone and lost, but he knew that no one could help him.

Slowly, he closed his eyes and immediately fell into a nightmare.

It was dark.

"Percy!" He heard Annabeth scream, but he could not find her anywhere. Where was she? He had to find her.

"Annabeth!" He wanted to scream, but no sound left his lips.

Suddenly he felt a strange hand on his back that pushed him closer and closer to the abyss. Only now did Percy realize that he was on a mountain. Where was he? And how had he come to be here? And where was Annabeth? The hand on his back pressed him farther and farther.

When he turned around, ready to attack the person standing right behind him, he realized with fright that no one was there. Confused, he looked around, but he could not see anyone. His feet carried him closer to the abyss. He wanted to stop, but he had no control over his legs. What was happening to him? He wanted to scream to call for help, but again no sound left his lips.

Then he saw her. Annabeth was not ten yards from him. She stared at him, wide-eyes filled with tears. Her lips formed his name, and he fell into the depths of Tartarus.

With a violent impact, Percy landed in the water. Immediately he felt relief. The water was his home, he was safe. But when he tried to breathe underwater, as he could as the son of Poseidon, the water gathered in his lungs.

He panicked and tried to reach the surface with all his power, but no matter how fast he swam, the water never seemed to end. It felt like an ice-cold hand had closed around Percy's neck, squeezing the air out of his lungs. Black dots danced before his eyes. Slowly his limbs grew tired and he stopped swimming. His eyes closed automatically and he let himself be pulled down by the water, right into the deep.

As Percy opened his mouth, he tried to breathe again, but the only thing he could feel was the cold water running into his lungs, causing an unbearable pain in his chest.

He found no salvation. It was as if Percy was drowning over and over again. It had no end, he was struggling for oxygen, which he never got. His head felt as if he were about to explode and-

With a jerk, Percy opened his eyes and panted for air.

A nightmare. "It was just a dream," he whispered to himself. But he knew too well that it was not just a dream. He had almost drowned, and he'd never felt such a pain in his life, except maybe in River Styx, where he had ironically taken a bath.

Percy found it really strange to have dreams that didn't have a deeper meaning. Normally, demigods only had dreams of real parts of the future, past or present. But what he dreamed about, in the last few weeks, were just dreams. They did not tell big stories, they only came from his subconscious.

Percy looked out of his window, the rising sun indicating that morning was arriving. Since he could not go to sleep again anyway, he got up and began to take care of the mess in his cabin. Normally, that was abnormal of him. Percy was just a messy person, everyone knew that. It was always Tyson who looked after the well-being of the cabin and kept it clean. But as it would still take an hour before breakfast was ready and Percy was still too nervous about his dream, he decided to do something as a kind of distraction.

He laid his clothes properly into the crate before his bed and dressed in fresh clothing. He cleaned the floor, the windows, even the old sink. When he had finished and had some time left, he decided to switch the beds and crates. His bed was at the end of the cabin on the left side, Tyson's bed was right next to him. He pushed the beds apart and moved his to the other side of the cabin. It did not really matter, but he wanted to, he had to distract himself, because as soon as he closed his eyes, he saw the darkness and felt the panic and the water around him.

Percy knew it was ridiculous, he was the son of Poseidon, the god of the sea and it was a one-time thing that he almost drowned. He knew that if he went into the water right now, he could swim freely again and breathe. But despite this, he began to shiver as soon as he thought about it.

A knock on the door tore him out of his thoughts and he jumped, frightened. "Yes?" he asked. As Percy raised his head, he looked into the gray eyes of Annabeth and immediately relaxed.

"Hey…" she said with a shy smile. She felt that something was wrong with him.

"Hey," Percy replied, trying smile at her. His behavior from the previous evening made him feel guilty, he knew that he had behaved terribly. "I'm sorry about yesterday, I mean…" Percy muttered, taking Annabeth's hand gently into his.

She smiled at him with sad eyes. "It's okay, Percy. You've been through a lot…" Without thinking about it, he closed his arms around her neck and pulled her into a tight hug. Annabeth instantly closed her arms around his waist and relaxed. They simply held each other without words. After a few minutes, both of them separated. "We should go to breakfast now," Annabeth whispered, closing her hand around Percy's, who nodded and followed her outside.

At breakfast, Percy felt completely alone again at the large table. He hated the rule that nobody from another cabin could sit at another table. Right now, he could use some company, even if he would not like to admit it.

Percy poked at his food with a fork. He did not have much of an appetite, which was again atypical for him. The other campers also noticed his weird behavior. Time and time again, Percy saw out of the corner of his eye that some of them looked at him, only to talk about him with their siblings.

He could not hear what they were talking about for sure, of course, but even a blind man could have seen that he was once again a hot conversation topic. Percy knew exactly what they were talking about, even without hearing them.

They were wondering what had happened to him. Percy was never so quiet, not even when they had fought against the Titans, he had looked so depressed. Of course, they knew that the last few months had been hard for him, but they all wondered what might have broken the strong son of Poseidon. Without taking another look at the food before him, Percy stood up and left the table. All the conversations fell silent and they turned towards him and watched him leave. But he still heard the voice of Clarisse saying, "What happened to him?" with an amused sound in her voice.

Before Percy realized it, he found himself at the lake. He sat down on the shore of the lake, but not too close. His eyes stared at the water and he watched as the sun danced over the surface. Not for the first time, he wondered how such a beautiful thing could be so dangerous at the same time.

"Hey Percy!", he suddenly heard the voice of Clarisse, the daughter of Ares, behind him. Percy, however, did not answer her; he did not feel like he was in the mood for the usual discussions with her. But Clarisse did not give up so easily.

Behind her, more and more campers gathered, probably thinking they were seeing one of the most legendary fights between Percy and Clarisse, which happened more often than you might think. But Percy wasn't in the mood to fight, either.

"What's wrong with our little fish?" she asked, laughing, and her siblings agreed. Percy did not react again, keeping his gaze fixed on the lake, ignoring Clarisse behind him.

Suddenly, Percy felt someone grabbing his arms, raising his legs and lifting him up. "What are you doing?" he shouted, looking into Clarissa's eyes, which glared back at him.

"I think you need a cooling off, son of Poseidon," she teased.

Immediately, Percy panicked as he realized what they were up to. _No, not into the water. Please do not throw me into the water,_ he thought. Percy struck out, trying to defend himself, but they did not let go of him.

"Why do you resist so much? The water will not do you any harm," said Clarisse, laughing. Percy looked helpless at the others, but no one did anything. Right, why would they? They knew nothing about Percy's new fear of the water, no one knew about it. But then he saw a familiar face, Annabeth. She looked at him confused but also caring, she also did not understand why Percy was resisting, but she cried: "Clarisse! Let him go, now!" But she only laughed and threw a glance at her two brothers who held Percy, and after a moment they threw him into the lake.

His head dove under water and immediately he sank like a stone, ever deeper.

Percy knew he had to swim, but his body did not obey him. He couldn't breathe, either; the fear of the unbearable pain was too big. The panic in him grew stronger, his chest contracted, and he struck wildly, trying to get up somehow. Otherwise, he would drown.

 _Dad, Poseidon,_ he thought. But Percy was sure that he would not hear him. He knew that he needed to find the courage to breathe, or just to swim, but no matter how much he wanted to breathe, the water ran into his lungs and burned like fire.

Just like in Percy's dream, black dots were dancing before his eyes, and he knew he would lose his consciousness. But then he could feel two arms that grabbed him and carried him to the surface. Annabeth carried Percy out of the water and set him down on the shore.

His body reacted immediately. Percy gasped for air and spat all water out of his lungs. He held himself with his hands, but his body shivered so hard that it was difficult for him to sit up at all. Percy took a deep breath, but it was still not enough air. He still felt the burning in his lungs, his chest. "What happened?" He heard the loud voice of Chiron. Immediately, all the people at camp made room for him to pass.

Percy had not even noticed that they had formed a circle around him, to take a look at him. One did not see every day how a son of Poseidon drowned and panicked with fear of the water. "They threw him into the water, but he didn't show up again, he almost..." Annabeth stopped.

"He almost drowned," one of the Ares brothers finished her sentence. Chiron looked at Percy with a frown. "I'm fine," Percy said, standing up, his legs still wobbling. They all still looked at him with wide eyes, as if he had gone mad. Without another word, Percy walked past them, hearing Annabeth and Chiron calling his name, but he did not want to tell anyone, not even his girlfriend.

"How can the son of Poseidon drown?" Percy whispered to himself and went back to his cabin.

Alone.

* * *

**So that was my first Percy Jackson story writing ever!**

**I hope you guys liked it?**

**Tell me what you want I'll try to do my best! Because I actually have some ideas how this story could go on!  
**


	2. Everything is Lost

**Author's note: Thank you guys for all the nice reviews on my first chapter! It means a lot to me!**

**Okay, now let us continue with this little story. But I warn you, this story is most likely to get a little bit... dark ;)**

**Disclaimer: I still not own anything of the Percy Jackson universe.**

* * *

_Chapter 2 - Everything is lost_

_Everything is lost_  
And this nightmare's closing in  
Everything is lost  
There's a sorrow beneath my skin  
This is the end of me.

* * *

 

 

When Percy reached his cabin, he noticed that his clothes were soaking wet. (Usually, they were waterproof), but at the moment nothing was, how it was supposed to be in his life anyway. Sighing, he pulled out his wet clothes and threw them on the ground. He didn't think or even care about the fact that he had cleared his whole cabin just a few hours ago.

What was he supposed to do know? He couldn't go back to the campers, under any circumstances. They all must think he was a failure. But wasn't he? A failure? Probably.

"What am I supposed to do?" Percy whispered, sitting down on the cold wooden floor.

He pulled his legs to his body and buried his head between his knees. He still saw the faces of the other campers before his eyes, the way they had looked at him. But not even that was what bothered him, it really did not matter what the others thought about him.

But what mattered to him was, what Annabeth thought about him. Percy had seen her, she had not looked confused like the others. But he had only seen, by the look in her eyes, that she could guess what was wrong with him and that was not a good thing. How so? Yeah, Percy did not want to be alone anymore, but he did not want anyone to worry about him either. Annabeth has already been through so much and he did not want to bother her with his problems. For that was he, no boy or demigod, he was a problem.

And when he realized that, Percy knew what to do.

Immediately he jumped up and grabbed a backpack from his crate. He only filled it with his clothes, it was the only thing he would need. He would go home. He did no longer belong here, he was totally out of place.

When Percy was standing at the door, he glanced back at his cabin, where he had once felt so secure, but that has been a long time ago. "I'm sorry, Dad. I am such a disappointment for you, "He whispered, closing the door behind him.

"Percy!"

Just as he was about to leave the camp, Percy again heard the familiar voice.

"Where are you going?" Annabeth asked. He lowered his eyes, he did not want to see how he would hurt her.

"Home," he replied simply. Now he raised his eyes and looked at Annabeth. But she did not look sad, as he had expected, she actually looked a little bit angry. "Annabeth-" Percy wanted to explain it to her but he just couldn't. But she did not say a word. She just stood there, staring at him and shaking her head inconspicuously.

"This is your home, Percy," Annabeth said after a short time of silence.

"Whatever is going on with you, we can help you. I can help you ... "Her voice was getting quieter. He really wanted to stay here with her, after all, she was still his best friend, or even more, but he just couldn't. Percy could not stand another single day here, maybe he would come back, but maybe he wouldn't.

"It's not my home, not anymore. I'm so sorry, Anny, " He whispered, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, Seaweed brain." Immediately her countenance became softer.

A small smile flitted over Percys lips, as she called him by his old nickname. Without another word, he turned around and disappeared into the deep of the forest.

When Percy stepped out of the taxi, standing in front of the apartment in Brooklyn, where he lived with his mother and Paul, he felt uncomfortable for the first time. What should he tell them? There was never been a moment before, where Percy had decided to leave camp earlier. He had not even told them where he had been the last eight months, in which he had been missing. And his trip to Tartarus he had also kept a secret. His mother had always been worried about her son, who was tracked down by monsters and gods, so Percy had spared her the exact details.

Slowly, Percy went up the stairs to the third floor. When he had been standing in front of the door, he hesitated for a little moment, maybe he should go somewhere else? But he had immediately pushed that thought aside, he could not disappear again for weeks, or even months, his mother would not survive it once more.

With a loud sigh, Percy put a smile on his lips (he was getting really good at it) and knocked at the door. It was already late in the evening, the journey from the camp to Manhattan had taken some time, especially since Percy had spent some little more time in the forest, which had probably not been the smartest idea of him, considering the fact that even when they had defeated the Titans, there were still enough monsters (and Ares) out there who wanted to see him dead.

After a few minutes, however, he heard someone muttering the key in the keyhole and unlocking the door.

"Percy?" Paul asked, with a sleepy voice.

"Yeah ... Hey," He mumbled and ran his hand through his black hair.

"What a surprise. What are you doing here? Well, actually it doesn't matter at the moment, come in, "he said, stepping aside, allowing Percy to enter the apartment.

Everything looked as usual, all things were super tidy (one of Paul's ticks), he could even see from this spot, through the open room door, that even the bed in his room was made.

"Well, you know where everything is. We'll talk about it tomorrow morning, okay? It's in the middle of the night and I would rather not wake up your mother." Percy nodded.

"Thank you, Paul. Good night, "He said and snuck quietly to his room.

He immediately took off his clothes, which had been dry for a long time but still carried the smell of the sea, which reminded him of what had happened. Even his room reminded him of the depths of the sea, everything was set up in a dark and bright blue tone. After all, this was his favorite color, or was it before he had become that strange person. He shook his head as if it were going to evict these thoughts in some way.

On his tiptoes, Percy crept into the bathroom, which laid on the other side of his room. And for the first time in days, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. He took a sharp breath, no wonder the other campers had looked at him so weird. He looked like death (and he knew what death looked like, exactly like Nicos weird zombie friends). His once so blue, green eyes, which were always compared with the colors of the sea, now only looked murky and empty. Percy had deep eye-rings from the many sleepless nights where he woke up, gasping for air. Percys skin was pale too, and he had lost some weight. Disgusted by his own sight, Percy turned his gaze away and quickly cleaned his teeth. He forgot to wash his face on purpose, even that reminded him too much of what had happened.

Back in his room, Percy laid down on his bed. A look at the clock, which stood on his night table, told him it was already three o'clock in the morning. Percy laid on his side and stared at the blank, blue wall. He was so incredibly tired, no question, but sleep was not a redemption either. He would only wake up again and again, which was even more stressful than simply staying awake. But not even this was always possible. His eyelids felt heavy and before he could fight back, he had fallen asleep.

Percy was at the sea. The waves crashed against the rocks and a strong storm came up. He was not sure where exactly he was, but it was definitely not in Manhattan.

"Percy."

A voice whispered his name. The voice came from all directions and whispered his name again and again. Percy had the unpleasant feeling as if the water would actually whisper his name, call him. As in a kind of trance, he walked with small steps to the water. It was ice cold and goose bumps pulled over Percys body. He only wore a few shorts, nothing more.

The cold water felt like a thousand little needle stitches in his skin, but he did not stop, the voice kept calling him. But when the water reached his stomach, he stopped abruptly. His body was trembling and he could feel his lips already getting blue. The voice, which he had heard so clearly, had been silenced. Percy just heard the rushing of the waves and the rattle of his teeth.

"Control it." The voice suddenly interrupted the silence.

"What do you mean?" Percy shouted to get up against the loud sound of the waves. His body was now shivering so hard that he had wrapped his arms around himself, to feel some kind of warm feeling. But it did not help, his feet were beginning to feel numb.

"Control it," the voice whispered again. All of the sudden, Percy saw a giant wave coming right up to him.

Control it, He repeated the voice in his head. And then he realized. "I'm supposed to control the water?" When the voice did not answer, Percy was sure she had meant that. Percy closed his eyes and focused on the water. He felt the waves around him, and he thought of the wave that was coming right up to him and he imagined it splitting around him. But when he opened his eyes again, nothing had happened. As much as he wanted, and tried, the water did not listen to him. "No, please don't," Percy screamed, trying to get out of the water. But it was already too late, the wave hit him and he sank under the water. The last thing he noticed was the voice.

"You've lost it."

Percy suddenly awoke from his dream. What did that mean? He looked at the clock, only two hours had passed. As always, Percy knew that he would not fall asleep again. He still heard the voice in his head.

_You've lost it._

What did he lose? His power? Instantly Percy felt a slight panic. What if his dream had something real about it? He did not have a dream, which had a deeper meaning for a long time, but perhaps this was a hint? Could, he actually had lost his powers? If so, what would happen? Would he still be the son of Poseidon? Would he still be a demigod or just a normal human being? Percy felt a painful throb in his head, that were clearly too many questions that he had no answer to.

"Percy!" With a jerk, his room door was torn open and his mother rushed to him. She immediately closed him into a tight hug.

"Mum," He replied, and returned her hug. Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at his watch. It was indeed seven o'clock, he had been lying awake for two hours, thinking about everything, without noticing how fast the time has passed. Sally broke away from the hug and looked at her son.

"How are you, my sweetheart?" She asked, falling down onto his bed next to Percy.

"I'm fine," He lied and smiled at her. She stroked a loose hair from his forehead and sighed.

"But why are you here? When I woke up, Paul told me that you were standing in front of the door in the middle of the night. Did something happen? In the camp, I mean. Maybe with Annabeth?" Percy looked into the worried face of his mother, exactly that he had actually wanted to avoid.

"No mum, everything is alright between me and Annabeth, promised. I just wanted to go home. I mean, I was away for a long time and just missed it, "He replied. It was not quite the truth, but it was not a whole lie either.

"Okay, then it's fine. Are you hungry? Paul is making breakfast." Percy nodded, though he was actually not that hungry, just like all the weeks before.

Sally had made some blue pancakes for Percy, but he only ate one and left the rest.

"And? How was it at the camp? "Asked Percys mother before taking a sip of her coffee.

Percy cleared his throat.

"It was good, as always. We trained a lot and yes, as always everything was just ... wonderful, "He said, smiling at his mother.

"I'm glad," She replied. Percy stared at his plate. He remembered that voice again.

_You've lost it._

"Mum, can I borrow the car for today? I wanted to go to the sea." There was nothing unnatural that Percy occasionally asked if he could go to the sea when he was at home.

After all, Sally and also Paul knew that it was something like his third home, when the camp was counted. And somehow the sea was a part of the family, as crazy as it may sound, but that was it when you had Poseidon in the family.

"You can take my car," Paul said for the first time. "It would be nice, though, if I did not find any hoof marks on the bonnet from a Pegasus this time," He said, smiling, trying to loosen the mood.

In fact, Percy had to suppress a small smile during this recollection.

"Promised," He said, standing up from his seat.

"See you tonight, okay?"

"Yes, and please be careful! Love you, "Sally said.

"I love you, too," Percy said before he ran out of the apartment with the car key in his hand.

When Percy arrived at the long beach island after the two-hour drive, the first raindrops fell down. The beach on which he was walking by was a bit remote and there were no people around. Only the sea and the cars at a distance were heard. It was almost like the dream that Percy had. The only difference was; Here he heard no voice. And yet, he went closer to the water.

_You've lost it._

Percy closed his eyes, focused on the water, on the movements, as he had done many times before. He wanted to prove that he was still Percy Jackson.

Percy Jackson, who brought back Zeus lightning, who saved Thalia, who had survived the labyrinth, who had defeated the Titans and all the other monsters. He, Percy Jackson, had survived the depths of Tartarus, and he would prove to everyone that he was still the strong son of Poseidon.

But when Percy opened his eyes again, it was as if nothing had happened. The waves flowed quietly to the beach, the rain dripped softly to the wet ground. And the only storm that raged, was in Percys head. "I've lost it," He whispered.

"I have no control over the water, anymore."

* * *

 

**So yeah, as you can see I decided to continue this story! * yay***

**I actually only have some little ideas (at the moment) so I have no idea where this fan fiction will go. Okay well, that's not entirely true, I have one idea that's going to be a BIG well... plot twist, I guess? But this will happen in like, idk, maybe Chapter 12 or something like that (if I even get that far lol)**

**Anyway, I hoped you liked this chapter! If yes, please let me know. It is really the only motivation I have when you guys give me a review. Otherwise, I am really unmotivated and lazy haha.**

**So leave a little review and tell me what you think! You can also, always give me some critic and tell me what I could maybe do better next time! (But please stay nice)**

**Thank you for your support!**

**Oh and I have a little question: Are my chapters too short? Should I write longer ones? If yes, it would also take more time to upload of course. So tell me what you want :)**

**Love, Dana xxx**

**p.s: Again thank you to my beta reader for helping me :)**

**p.p.s: Sorry for the horrible English xD**


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